Esther

"Mummy, i’m too small for this world"

"Dont worry little angel, you shall live with no fear. Your parents will guide you the way"

14th: Check-in Mt. Alvernia in the evening 6pm.

15th: Baby Guin’s new arrival, i was suffering from the Epidural effect. Shivering though i was feeling hot. Nausea and vomiting on and off. Can’t take food or water. On drape.

16th: Everything was back to normal.

17th: 1 day early discharge, with consent from the gynae. Reason: Reunion dinner with family (nice excuse).

18th: Chinese New Year (Although baby Guin not a full Piggy as planned, we wanted so much for our 1st reunion. And, 15th is an auspicious delivery date, no 18th… 21st etc would be too late so might cause her danger..) Fine… fine.. Internal wound starting to get more pain.

19th: Baby Guin started to open her eyes to view at things and people. According to EKK, he saw her trying to raise her hand to reach for toys hung above her playpan.

20th: Just another day…

21st: Just another day passed…

22nd: Went to Bishan with EKK. Missed our pak tor time. Things had never be the same as the past ever since i was pregnant. Restriction here and there that’s why. Went to watch NORBIT. Very funny movie. Then after, quickly went home to carry Baby Guin. Wink~ Oh yeah, wound getting more pain by the walking … and abit giddy feeling..

Missed our 1st appointment! Called to booked another date - Tomorrow.

23rd: Baby Guin first visiting her doc, and i visiting my gynae. All at Gleneagles. Had her weight and normal body checked. Everything was fine. Just prescribed a medication for her diaper rashes that’s all. Mine, done the unstitching of my wound. Doc said my skin was too good to leave any stretch mark and would be like my mum, i would go back to my shape in no time. Lucky thing. The bloated abdomen is just ‘air’. Because when doing op, stomach tends to suck in air. She had cleared my inside menses so that i wouldn’t be flowing out too much after that. True. Thanks Dr. Ang Huai Yan. Todate, my wound is recovering, not much pain already.

24th: Wound much better… Baby knows how to place her hand on her mouth, trying to eat something. Baby has been alert, heard some little sound, eyeball starts moving around searching where that sound thingy comes from. Likes warm light - relaxing.

It’s professionally done! Thanks to Joey, Ah Da & Ming Xiang

It’s a Monday. Went to spa as usual Monday. Then checked into Shangri-la at 2 plus in the afternoon. IMF people could be seen everywhere…

After checking in, went for high tea at the Hotel. The food looks good but tasted like it has been on the shelves for years!!

After that immediatedly became fatigue. Both baby and me digesting that’s why. Went upstairs for some photo-taking. Seems like we’re on honeymoon again, hmmm… Thanks to Melanie for the surprises. The cake was nice! Rose Petals were fragrant too! Then off we went to zzZzz…

Woke up at 7pm plus. Cocktail’s over! (5-7). We had a better one. Fine dining on the 24th floor - The BLU. The food was nice. Too bad it’s a walk-in, therefore we din book a window seat. Amidst the dim and relaxed atmosphere, how i wish for just a small small glass of red wine… hehehee!!!

After dinner, went upstairs toilet… fwahaha… Then still looking at the food menu thinking what to order for tomorrow’s breakfast. EKK’s getting sick of FOOD. Forgotten tomorrow’s  breakfast is on the house but we gotta go downstair, too bad couldn’t dine by the bed. Ordered a glass of fresh milk before going to bed, gosh! S$10.00 per glass!! It’s an experience afterall…

Next morning, went to BLU again for the free breakfast buffet. This time the food still tasted like it has been there for so long. The only better one could have been the fine dining at night.

Went home to Yishun… EKK off to work, again… Working life replays …

This is not done by us… lol

Went shopping at Taka. EKK promised me a long weekend. Sounds i’m like a mistress… well at least he won’t have to work today. He’s with me. His heart is at work. Grrr…

Bought these for myself:

A Money Clipper

A Card Holder

A Wool Wrap

This is from me to Him:

A Travel Briefcase

and;

This is from him to Me:

 

A Bvlgari Necklace

I simply love BOSS Hugo Boss~

It’s fun to play game like these, we each walked on our separate ways to search for present. Then we met to exchange. Sounds like x’mas.. Whew~ My Favourite Festival Yeah yeah!!

A dreamgirl, on the other hand, won’t kill herself to impress anyone. and you won’t see her breaking out the fancy china, either. Overcompensating or being too eager to please will lessen a man’s respect; it will give the kiss of death to his attraction, and it will put a time limit on the relationship.

A bitch is more selective about her availability. She’s available sometimes; other times she’s not. But she’s nice. Nice enough, that is, to consider his preferences for when he’d like to see her so that she can sometimes accomodate them. Translation? No 100 percent hold.

When a woman drives to see a man in the middle of the night, the only thing missing is a neon sign on the roof of her car says WE DELIVER.

The bitch, on the other hand, makes plenty of peeps. In fact, she is bitching the whole way through. This is not a bad thing, because then he knows he can’t walk all over her. But remember, a mental challenge has little to do with being verbally combative. It has to do with your actions and how much of yourself you are willing to give up.

"A man’s love comes from his stomach," they say. That’s true, but no one said to slave for six hours to feed him. Whether he eats out or you order take-out, the stomach is full, and there is plenty of love to go around. Rule of thumb: If it is warm, he’ll eat it. The rest is wasted effort.On a special occasion, and after he has earned it, cooking him a meal is a nice "treat." But it isn’t a treat if you give it to him right off the bat.

You’ll know dinner was a smashing success when he insists on taking you out to eat next time. Never again will you hear him utter the words, "Hey, what’s for dinner?" If, after some time, he ever slips and asks you to cook, simply offer to make your specialty: popcorn, wieners, and a jelly roll, with coffee and Kool-Aid to help wash it down. Then start getting ready because you’ll have reservations within the hour.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She calls him often and says, "Please return my call."

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": She gets back to him when she’s free.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She is on call like a rookie flight attendant.

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": She sees him when it is convenient for her.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She makes it obvious a relationship is her goal before she knows much about him.

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": She goes out to have fun and doesn’t make promises to a virtual stranger.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": When he does call her, she is mad he didn’t call sooner.

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": When he calls her, he is curious where she is, and why she’s not there.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She often drives.

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": He’ll pick her up or happily go out of his way.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She asks, "Where’s our relationship going?"

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": He has no clue where the relationship is going, and she leaves it like that.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She talks about having babies.

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": She can’t remember his last name.

"I AM NOT ENOUGH.": She asks him about the "ex."

"I’M ENOUGH. TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.": He brings up the ex; she looks at her watch.

When you react emotionally, it gives him a feeling of control. And if you react emotionally frequently, over time he will come to see you as less of a mental challenge. If he can’t predict how you’ll always react, you remain a challenge. It also gives him something he absolutely needs: the freedom to breathe. If you don’t hear from him a little longer than usual, show him that you have absolutely no "attitude" about it. This behaviour will make him a little unsure about whether you miss him (i.e., "need him") when he isn’t around. It gives him a reason to come your way because he won’t perceive you as needy.

Try not to say things as "Why haven’t you called me?" or "Why haven’t i heard from you in a week?" If you act as though you haven’t even noticed (because time flies when you’e having fun), he will come your way. Why? Because he doesn’t feel as though he has a 100 percent hold on you.

A top teen magazine recently gave women the following bad advice.
They said to slip notes in unexpected places like his backpack or locker, or to "write a poem and slip it under his windshield wiper." As if this wasn’t enough to give his attraction the kiss of death . . . Wait, it gets better. In addtion, they advised catching him off guard by "having a pizza delievered." Okay. Put it all together and what do you get? A magic receipe for convincing him you’re a stalker.

A man will always want what he can’t have. When a man meets a woman and she seems nonchalant, it becomes a challenge for him to win her affections. Or, if he tries to get a woman to react in an insecure way but she holds herself with a level of dignity and pride, suddenly the dynamic changes. The same guy who was gun-shy of relationships becomes a believer. Now he begins to fantasize about getting the so-called bitch to cook him a meal, fold his socks, or chase him around. But if you start out dependent on him, he simply doesn’t value it the same.

Another mistake that a woman can make is to put herself down. When you’re on a date, you never talk about the plastic surgery you want to have or the weight you want to lose. Don’t talk him out of a compliment. This is the time to be sure of who you are.

Don’t spend a fortune on a therapist. Just say it to yourself until you believe it. Eventually you will believe it, and so will he. Humility? Don’t worry. It’s a treatable affliction, a mental glitch. If you catch yourself being modest or humble or any of that nonsense, correct the problem immediatedly. Go directly back to believing you are "a catch." Period. End of story. Case closed. If someone else doesn’t like your confidence, that’s their problem. Why? You always come before they do, that’s why.

Never assume you are attractive enough, and therefore you have to overcompensate or chase a man. Taste is subjective. One man’s "ugly" is another man’s "beautiful."

ATTRACTION PRINCIPLE #7 ACT LIKE A PRIZE AND YOU’LL TURN HIM INTO A BELIEVER.

A woman also demeans herself when she compares herself to another woman. So, don’t let on when you feel threatened by another attractive woman who walks into the room. If you pretend not to notice her, he’ll see your confidence in yourself and then he’ll become intrigued with you. Then another curious thing will happen. Suddenly she won’t look so good. She only has as much power as you give her. If you are in an uncomfortable situation, don’t feel compelled to compete with another woman. In addtion, you don’t need to expose a lot of skin or feel as if you have to work harder to earn a man’s sexual attention. Wearing your sexuality on your sleeve isn’t advantageous in luring a man. The issue is not whether you turn him on; it’s whether he stays turned on after he has been satisfied. This is the key.

When you show your shape, but don’t expose every inch, the "unwrapping of the gift" becomes much more stimulating. If he has to unbutton an item of clothing to get to what he wants to see, it turns him more. Not less.

If, at a later, you dress provocativey, that’s another story. Then he knows you are doing it just for him, so it becomes a treat. this is why you often hear men say they want a lady in the living room and a whore in the bedroom. It’s what you don’t show that keeps him intrigued.

A bitch doesn’t rely on a particular miniskirt, a tattoo, a belly ring, or a black dress with a plunging neckline to feel good about herself. She relies on who she is as a woman.

IN HER MIND: "I am going the extra mile."

IN HIS MIND: "She is trying too hard. She’s desperate."

IN HER MIND: "I don’t want to play games."

IN HIS MIND: "She talks too much."

IN HER MIND: "I am nurthering."

IN HIS MIND: "She is mothering."

IN HER MIND: "I am giving 100 percent so i can make it work."

IN HIS MIND: "She is really nice, but there just isn’t any chemistry."

When you lose your edge, the relationship loses its fire. For example, the man say, "Maybe i need a little time to think things over." The woman who is too nice responds, "Please don’t leave me." Not the bitch. She offers to help him pack. Why (choose A,B, or C)?

A. She is helpful.

B. He can’t pack.

C. She loves herself.

Hint: The correct answer is C. Because she loves herself, the bitch doesn’t want anyone who doesn’t want her. She doesn’t grab his ankles and beg for mercy. She keeps that edge. And, in doing so, she prevents him from wanting to go.

Her aura says she doesn’t want him desperately enough, need him desperately enough, or let him get under her skin enough. She is driving that train. Effortlessly. And it is that very ease that translate into charm.

je ne sais quoi is a sexy devil-may-care attitude. Not only isn’t the bitch needy of him, she often isn’t focused on him.

One of the things women have to get out of their mindset is the notion of what a bitch is. A bitch is nice. She is kind yet strong. She has a strength that is ever so subtle. She’s sweet as a Georgia peach. She smiles and she is feminine, like a "Steel Magnolia"–flowery on the outside and steel on the inside. She uses this feminine to her own advantage. It isn’t that she takes undue advantage of men, because she plays fair. She has one thing the nice girl doesn’t: a presence of mind because she isn’t swept away by a romantic fantasy. The presence of mind enables her to wield her power when it is necessary. In addition, she has the ability to remain cool under pressure. Whereas a woman who is "too nice" gives and gives until she is depleted. The woman with presence of mind knows when to pull back. She just doesn’t make decisions based on the fear of losing a man. The difference between the bitch and the nice girl is not so much in their personalities or their demeanor. It has nothing to do with how abrasive a woman is. A bitch is a bitch with her actions, because she isn’t willing to give herself up and won’t chase a man. She won’t let a man think he has a 100 percent "hold" on her. And she’ll stand up for herself when he steps over the line. She knows what she wants but won’t compromise herself to get it.

Men like it when a woman has a bit of an edge to her. Two things became clear across the board: First, they would regularly use the phrase mental challenge to describe a woman who didn’t appear needy. And second, the word bitch was synonymous with their concept of mental challenge. Above all, they found attractive.

Success in love isn’t about looks or about how to obsess over someone else’s approval or disapproval; it’s about attitude. Not irreverence for people, but rather, for what other people think. The bitch is an empowered woman who derives tremendous strength from the ability to be an independent thinker, particularly in a world that still teaches woman how to be self-abnegating. This woman doesn’t live someone else’s standards, only her own. This is the woman who plays her own rules, who has a feeling of confidence, freedom, and empowerment.

The woman who has a positive experience with men possesses the ever-so-subtle qualities. A sense of humor and an aura that conveys, "I’m driving the train here. I’ll tell you where we get on and where we get off." This woman has that presence of mind to do what is in her best interest and an attitude that says she doesn’t need to be there. She is there by choice.

The bitchy women who are so loved by men give off a devil-may-care quality and, yes, have that "edge." This is that same edge, coincidentally, that men say they find so magnetic. The difference in this woman isn’t looking for it outside herself; it is a special quality she carries within.

when i first knew him…

I could remember vividly…

I did not have my first impression drawn on him, because i simply do not bother about him. Not those kind of hatred between us but i just found him not ideal enough in fact, so everytime he came to the project department where i used to work in this particular company, i would secretly buried my head behind my partition board in order to avoid him. It’s funny how i used to dislike talking to him.

He still approached me, with a friendly smile, and his ‘M-SHAPED’ FRINGED!! Oh goodness, he just looked too skinny and dark, with that big ‘M’ on his head. Many times i’ve tried to avoid him because my project manager’s room was just few steps ahead my office desk. Besides, i don’t really like to chit-chat when i’m on my paper work. (and when he’s here doing his usual routine, PR session)

I had a boyfriend during that period, and i simply knew how to draw lines between me and ‘M’. At that time, my boyfriend was in the army. He was a lil obsessed to gaining some authorities inside there. Sometimes he would ‘buy’ duties over from his camp mates. For money? For work? Til now i really don’t know. Maybe to avoid me? haha…

Back to the ‘M’ then. We barely spoke enough, for a reason to date me out. In fact out of the negligence i’ve often got from my boyfriend. I just thought over for a couple of times before i’ve decided to set myself free. Afterall i was young and i was yet married.

When ‘M’ first dated me, we went to

Great

World

City

for some good food there. I couldn’t recall if there’s really ‘good’ food. But just our first meeting, i found this man’s getting interesting. His body language, with abit of shyness in our conversation… haha.. Cute, meaning he just triggered me to do something naughty just to prove whether he’s a good man or a bad one. The rest up to your imaginations.

Over these years, he is the one who has been there for me. From things that had gone wrong between me and my boyfriend, or even any trouble between me and my other guy friend. It had seemed a never-ending of new boys coming up to my love life (that time) but the chance was just never once given to him.

Thank god. WIth his preseverence, determination, trust, forgiveness, understanding or maybe he’s too old to talk about little-couple-fights .. .. he had finally made me his, and i’ve made him mine. The story yet end….

I’ve decided to accept ‘M’ as my boyfriend and see how things will end up between us. From bringing me out every weekends to bringing me home for dinner with his parents. Time has indeed proven he’s a real man to me. There’s a critical period where i’ve to come out with a conclusion whom i wanted to be with. I was in a dilemma then. I thought that i would be leaving this company once my assignment completed, i would be saved from making a decision but i was wrong by escaping.

He gave me Time. Even when i was with him, i can still accept my army bf’s date. But i’ve accepted many different dates. Many many unfair things ‘M’ has to accept but i cared less about his feelings. Til my grandma, my parents and my aunties had knocked some sense on me. ‘M’ really has many good-borned characters within him, which i don’t see in many guys. Talk about the basic ‘Understanding’ and ‘Patience’. And he had NEVER lay his hand on me, even how foul mood he had whenever i gave him ‘new’ stress or argued with him about my rights though i’ve sounded totally out of my mind. I want Rights!! Woman’s Rights!! And his respect for ladies has won my love for him everyday.

I told ‘M’ freely that i had an army boyfriend that time. I told him off like cursed. Any unpretty remarks i gave ‘M’, he swallowed it. I even asked him what rights does he have to date me, he’s not even fit enough to talk about ‘my ideal partner’. Whatever … and whatever.. i chose to forget, and i really couldn’t recall anymore. I wondered if he’s really listening to my remarks or just thought that i was singing away. Anyway, it doesn’t matter now.

We’re married. And before his proposal, i’ve decided he’s only fit to be my husband. Over-qualified to be my boyfriend that’s why, haha..

EKK, thank you for your good-borned characters. YOU have saved our relationship. I never regret choosing you just because i was the lucky one by your Preseverence and Forgiveness, Understanding and Determination…

I thought that i could only find my Mr. Right by matching them onto my wish-list, instead, YOU were the one who made me changed my entire list, cos YOU’re the ONE i was looking for all these while…

I Love You.